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Hey, What About Your Therapy Commitment?

Why is prioritizing your weekly therapy appointment the single most important factor to the success of your therapy? Many clients have difficulty managing their life; we can be driven by our own busyness. We can say, “There is always so much to do. I have children, a job, so many responsibilities to keep up with.” Sometimes, though, the busyness is really avoidance, by choice, albeit sometimes unconscious.

And we are preoccupied with irrelevant or meaningless activities like scheduling too many different pursuits that fragment us. Or we spend too much time on social media, smart phones and internet, or engage in miscellaneous squandering of time and restless distractibility without focus. Preoccupation with meaningless activity leads to an experience of feeling drained and we haven’t actualized our most meaningful intentions. Or maybe we have never formalized meaningful intentions in the first place. Or even if we are not doing an activity, our mind can be filled with endless disruptive inner dialogue leading to exhaustion. Nor have we had relaxation and the spaciousness of not doing much. Relaxation is as important as meaningful activity, developing the capacity to sit, observe and listen to the birds or our breath.

So as we preoccupy ourselves with our “important busyness” our connection to ourselves weakens and our therapy appointments are given short shrift. This is no accident as there is a part in all of us that does not want to look deeply. Putting time aside regularly to self examine may bring up anxiety, concerns, challenges or pain. So we just keep going in a semi-conscious fashion. The lack of prioritization of Self can and does defeat the change process. We realize we keep doing our old destructive patterns and feeling like we aren’t making progress in our life. The therapeutic process is diluted; it can’t compete with the diversions and is demoted to another item of limited value in terms of the competitive influences in a life. And we don’t have a chance to consider what meaningful intentions we might want to institute to make our life more deeply satisfying.

How can we make an honest commitment to ourselves in a sincere way? Our most important relationship is with our self and that allows an actual experience of meaning, satisfaction and happiness in the way we live. The contact we make with ourselves will be reflected, like a pebble thrown in a pool that spirals outward, in how we relate to others; every living being we interact with. It all begins inside and starts with whether our consciousness is clear or cloudy. That takes some work, some discipline to arrive at an inner clear pool. It can begin with showing up at your therapists’ office regularly, consistently and with intention to self-examine. If that is too much to ask, you are not yet ready to embark on a most rewarding journey. Always ask yourself if you are contributing the most that you can to yourself. You can come first. If you accomplish this then you can bring your clarity to all your relationships and they will manifest that brilliance.


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