A major goal of therapy is to help our clients build, often from the ground floor up – to find your authentic Self. Many of us suffered adversities that impinged on the developing Self as it traversed the earliest developmental years. There are significant stages of development that culminate in young adulthood where our sense of self becomes stabilized as it manifests in our inner life and in activations (actions) in the ‘real world’.

The Self is formed in years 0 to 5 and becomes consolidated in the teen years and in an additional launch phase after high school — further solidifying in college and/or early career years. Fantasy, for example, plays a role in our toddler years (if allowed) as we learn to create imaginary tales that later become the basis of our creativity and translate into unique life endeavors.

If life conditions are sufficiently healthy to foster and support growth in personal awareness and self-examination, we develop qualities needed to persist: frustration tolerance, ability to stick to our endeavors, resilience, discipline, and emotional intelligence that allow the maturation of the authentic Self.