It is a time of significant loss that surrounds us daily; deaths, illness and an increasing sense of vulnerability. There is a simultaneous demand that we find our deepest well of resilience.
We are digging deeply inside to get us through this harrowing time. We are finding our courage and our fortitude.
There is hope on the horizon. Let us breathe into that hopefulness and lean into a time of festive renewal.
The New Year in California started with a continued deluge of rain, which brought heavenly moisture to our dry land and dry bones — and has caused some to feel soggy, cold and constricted.
The New Year also brought chaos on the political front with an endless bombardment of controversial executive orders reflecting a lack of circumspect and prudent leadership and stabilizing governance in a time of transition for our divided country. There has been little collaboration with other governmental department heads, or experienced qualified others – even the President’s Cabinet – thus appropriate dialogue that encourages civil and community discourse has not occurred. Rather, announcements resulting in cataclysmic change have caused chaos, fear and shock waves across the globe. The President continues to exhibit his significant personality disorder discussed in my post titled A View of Character – The President-Elect, and his impairments dominant the stage and result in faulty leadership on all fronts. The press continues to observe and report even though attempts are made to suppress what doesn’t compliment the leader’s frail ego.
Each New Year brings us opportunities for significant personal changes that can build on our prior successes and accomplishments or help shift areas of regret or disappointment. Every year we have an opportunity to choose and prioritize that which is most valuable and leave behind what we know to be inconsequential or even destructive. The idea of New Year’s resolutions seems quaint and superficial in that we realize we are unlikely to keep them. It can end up as a pretend gesture and we can laugh that we tried for 3 weeks and then go on about our business.
We can approach this effort with a bit more sincerity and intention. It might be advisable to pick one or two changes for maximum effect – eliminate the laundry list that will get blown off by the end of January. Maybe you could think about one item that really matters to you above all else. What do you want to reinforce that will provide a true avenue for the Self – what supports your development in ways that will make you feel proud and fulfilled? What states of mind are most nourishing – peace, generosity, gratitude? Or perhaps seek times of non-activity in order to allow a sense of spaciousness.
I was about to launch into another character type description but decided to opt for lighter faire for the holiday season. You all have been quite patient with my intellectual ramblings on character types so you get a break in December.
What to discuss? This season does invoke contented feelings for me as I always appreciate colder, hopefully moister weather. I like the earlier darker nights I have always appreciated the flurry of seasonal lights. Many people dread the darkness and much prefer the summer’s sunny light. There are a multitude of other reactions to this time of year as there can be ample provocative triggers. Some people react to commercialism, others are reminded of uncomfortable family issues or have to navigate through family gatherings fraught with issues. Or the general pressures of holiday events and demands take a toll.
How can you make the holidays work for you? There is always lots of advice on adjusting to the stress of the holidays. I will add to the kibitzing and suggest that reducing your ‘compliant pleaser’ might be a helpful idea. Of course, the holidays demand some accommodation with family and friends — that is realistic. But some of us can take it to extremes where we lose our self to others and end up resentful, frustrated and disappointed.