Skip to content

The Positive of Negative Feedback

I read with great interest the Here to Help section of the New York Times (March 26, 2018) entitled Why It’s So Hard to Hear Negative Feedback and was struck by its relevance. The writer references an episode of a TED podcast “WorkLife With Adam Grant” that discusses our aversion to getting and giving negative feedback.

Many of us have shaky egos and do not tolerate feedback unless it is positive: adoring, accentuating our specialness, statements affirming, “you are doing well” — comments sought out to bolster our sagging egos. The problem with those of us with shaky egos is that we thrive on accolades and resist feedback that is less than favorable or viewed as “negative”. This outlook reflects a fearful and self-limiting perspective and results in lost opportunities for growth, change and self-development. This style creates chronic dissonance in personal and professional relationships.

Read more

Gratitude – Strong Medicine

It may sound cliché at this time of year to encourage thankfulness and gratitude – yet those attitudes are strong inner healing medicine for our minds and bodies. That medicine warms us from the inside out and gives us a sense of wellbeing. When we act with generosity towards others, we cultivate our natural expansiveness – we can relax rather than constrict. We escape the grip of our small, tightly woven, survival-oriented egos that assert their will over our more gracious and generous values. In those moments, when we live inside our smaller self – constricted, hyper-vigilant to what we are getting – we actually feel less worthy. When we experience our feelings of sufficiency, we know we are enough and can give to others as well as experience gratitude for all we receive. We can feel connected to others and to the beauty surrounding us – we can feel more alive. We see the preciousness of others and move beyond our own petty selfishness – hah liberation!

Read more
Back To Top