March –Reich’s Phallic Narcissistic Character: The Case of Mark

Mark, 48 moves aggressively in the world with a swagger. He wants what he wants when he wants it. He is an accomplished VP of sales in a successful start-up. Colleagues gravitate toward him, not for his intrinsic likeability but because he has a glow that they attempt to use to their advantage– he has charisma and is boastfully confident so they need to keep in his good graces. (Frequently some business cultures are based on using others for gain without the cultivation of more meaningful values.)

Mark is an opportunist who positions himself well and strives to maintain a top-dog position. He can charm a room with his blazing smile of perfectly aligned white teeth and trendy yet seemingly careless clothing.

Mark has a wife, two kids, a home in a posh neighborhood; he has all the trappings of ultimate success. He has succeeded because of his strong energy system, drive and discipline. He is heading for a fall, though, as his attitudes of grandiosity and inflation give him a false sense of untouchability, as if he can get away with anything, soaring above the clouds without consequences. However, he recently spread himself too thin by purchasing a vacation home while making poor investments, causing him anxiety, an unusual state for him to experience.

His personal problems stem from his utter disregard for the feelings and concerns of others; he is simply not interested. He lives for himself although he puts on a perfect show of caring.

When you speak with Mark you realize he is not listening as he is thinking ahead; if he wants something from you, and you have something to offer, he will express brief interest, otherwise he looks through you when you speak to him. At a gathering, he works the room and leaves you in the dust mid-sentence.

His character style can be ruthless and corrupt because his values are materialistic, self-serving, dominating, and controlling, even vicious. If he doesn’t get his way, he will punish and seek revenge.

His personal relationships sour, as he is working when he could be with his children, traveling when he could cultivate his relationship with his wife. He lacks empathy and has no emotional IQ. If she speaks to him about what she needs, he doesn’t relate and has no real interest in her other than her appearance and getting his sexual needs met. He sexually seeks dominance and can act out revenge. Mark has had a series of affairs as he lacks internal integrity and is not (yet) noticing the carnage ahead.

If life doesn’t go his way, he becomes irritable, furious and tyrannical. He loses his cool and bares his teeth with a growl of contempt. He believes he is better than others and wants to flaunt it. If he is not mirrored with an exactness that reflects his every want and need, he becomes impatient, petulant and angry.

“The Narcissistic Type can have grand visions and live the big life. They are status-seekers and covet power symbols to ensure their need to be recognized and emulated. Narcissistic Types thrive on winning. They want admiration, are competitive, and concerned with their image, burnishing that to maintain a sense of self-worth and dominance. Thus, they live in a world of idealized others and devalued others. They inflate others – look up to them, want to emulate the more powerful – and then devalue those that don’t impress them. These feelings of inflation and deflation are also internal and relate to how they view themselves. They are on top of their world, or they are failing, not keeping up, not good enough…”

“Narcissists often utilize an attack mode to dominate and control, which is masked in a sophisticated style. They will use attack if necessary, to maintain their advantage. They can escalate in a conversation and over-talk, and raise their voice and increase their speed to establish superiority resulting in others backing down. Or they become downright argumentative and rude in order to assert their top dog position. Narcissistic Types have a great deal of anger as they compensate when they feel internally insecure, like when they feel they are losing their edge, feel criticized, or have a competitor. They have to maintain their edge or they can drop slip into their basic feelings of worthlessness. They will get angry to maintain their position and cover up their hidden feelings of inadequacy. They often deny their inherent insecurity because their defenses work well. This type does not want to stop the speedy, aggressive push forward in order to slow down enough to make contact and self-examine.”

“Narcissists are extremely sensitive to criticism. If they even feel the slightest criticism, they will act defensively. If they anticipate an attack, they will attack first. They have fragile egos and don’t do well with challenge and feedback. They can rear up defensively and dominate the conversation through fury, or withdraw punitively. They lack flexibility to engage and drop their defensive structure, because they need to keep their egos protected from demotion.”

“Sexually, certain issues emerge for the Narcissist. When we move to the Phallic Narcissistic male, they like to manifest their potency through aggression and can express revenge in sexuality. They can be competitive, asserting power over their partner and wanting to show off their prowess more than express vulnerability. The male can wish to primitively pierce to prove his potency. A Phallic Narcissistic woman can be competitive, with a need to cut down and diminish her partner. She can be relentlessly critical and is therefore effective in her ability to dominate and then discard the other.”

“Biophysically, a Narcissist has a well-proportioned, athletic body with high energy and vigor. Narcissists can be good looking and attract others to them through their good looks. Due to their high energy, they can be expansive in their actions, yet bristle easily due to their high charge. Also, because they build up energy easily, they can be impatient and overly aggressive in benign situations. They can move from charming to arrogant, and from warmth to cold withdrawal.”

“The Narcissistic Character’s armoring is general, yet focused in an inflated chest, armored diaphragm with upper body, shoulder, and neck armoring, and tension in the legs. The chest cannot give in to the breath or yield to softer feelings. There can be other blocks that can dominate the picture. For example, if there is a significant eye block, then the character turns more paranoid. If the oral block dominates, then the Narcissist experiences depression.”

“Narcissists seek therapy when their empires break down. Maybe they lose a good job or their marriage, are demoted, or otherwise lose their status through loss of wealth or power. Then they begin to feel their weak, fragile, dependent underpinnings. They are habituated to control and dominate at their work or in their families. Suddenly, the hierarchical status symbols are waning. Aging, loss of image, illness, loss of control; all these types of situations challenge the Narcissistic Character. They are not flexible in adjusting to losses that affect their identity. They can fall into depression, lose motivation, and become unstable and anxious. Or they throw temper tantrums and rage at their weakening defenses. They have been bolstering themselves with external approval and external identity and, when that shifts, they experience alienation, fragmentation, loss of self, and depression.”

“Phallic Types cannot maintain their dominance over their lifetime…” as their lack of Self will reveal itself overtime. They may have been overly inflated in childhood and merged with Narcissistic helicopter parents such that they could not develop an authentic self.

“In working with this type, the Orgonomist dismantles all defenses listed above. As this type is extremely sensitive to criticism and will fight all the way to keep their position of dominance, the therapy can be quite engaged. As these defenses relent, the individual can feel more deeply into the underlying issues. The person can examine his or her inner demand to be special and better-than, and let this false power position go. Then they can relate better to others and their aggressive approach will fall away. With good therapy, their natural, exuberant high energy can be put to good use relationally, creatively, and spiritually.” (Blog: 8-22-14 Reich’s Character Types: Phallic Character Types & the Narcissistic Character and Whole Patient, Whole Therapist…2018)